Subject	Career Choices from Hell!
DateCreated	3/9/2006 9:23:00 PM
PostedDate	3/9/2006 8:22:00 PM
Body	Some people have called me the Queen of Careers! That's right I lost count somewhere after 70 jobs! I have a list somewhere, every now and then when I am looking for a flashlight or a battery, I run across it and add the new jobs I have had since the last time I found the list. Currently I am the Embroidery Lady. Today I spent most of day sticking my hand down men's pants. I work with a machine that has four heads with 9 needles on each head. This machine sounds like a train clicky clacking down the tracks, it vibrates and goes up and down and in and out and back forth...My job is to watch the magic of thread becoming one with the fabric and creating a design. I watch, I pace, I pace I watch...I work in near isolation, so to cure that I buy candy...hehe At least then once in awhile a co-worker will stop by to get a treat...However they tend to sneak up on me to see if they can make me Jump...Damn it works every time too! I am currently planning a secret revenge to get them all back for that! This job is so different than a previous gig of being a children's photographer! Pooh bear used to be a part of my daily attire. I even went to lunch a few times with pooh under my arm. One day I couldn't sell a charm at all!  Those are the tiny tiny pics, sold for pure profit...I went to lunch and had a hot dog. After lunch I sold charms to every customer...I was HOT..I thought man I am eating hot dogs for lunch every day! No one said NO! They smiled more than usual and I smiled back.  Well I got home and went to the bathroom, looked in the mirror.....OMG there it was...mustard! Not just a tad either! I big old line of mustard above my lip. No one said SHIT! It had been there since lunch! Oh well I sold a crap load of charms...lol  Most of the time I spent 8 hours a day making 2 yrs old snot nosed kids laugh. By the end of the day all I could say was, boo boo, goo goo blah blah getchie getchie goo, la la..waa waa nana boo boo...I remember telling Moms, yes the red eyes and running nose Will show up in the picture! They would say, "Oh I know my child is sick and running a fever but they turned two today!"...Ok and they arent gonna be two next week??? One kid even puked on my foot! Then you had the people that would actually drive in a blizzard to get pictures taken, it always amazed me. The kids were actually great!!! It was the parents I could have done without! One Christmas I finally had all I could take and totally ass lost it! Some lady was trying to get some pictures for free because they didnt come in on time, then someone else chimed in and more and more and then people started fighting each other in the waiting area! OMG it was a total nightmare! I screamed at them and said just take all fucking pictures for free! OOPS! I was kindly escorted out of Sears...yes actually banned from Sears...rofl I didn't get fired though. I just couldn't work in that particular store. The bartender gig was fun! Hey I got paid to go out and I got to be the star at the same time...hehe Usually I worked in those Hole in wall bars, so I was the entertainment. I never had to clean up puke either! Someone was always drunk enough to clean that up for a free drink. ;) I will never forget the guy that drank the leftovers...ewwwww I even danced with a bucket on my head once. Great tip night...lol (yes I have pictures to prove it) of the bucket not the money. I am currently trying to figure out what to be next. If you have any suggestions leave them in comments. This is a small list of what I have already been ( cashier, secretary, cook, laundry aide, copy girl, waitress, cocktail waitress, refrigerator assembler, vending machine filler, sewing factory worker, cop helmet maker, taco bell, Hardees, Arbys, rubber stamp associate, gas station attendant, babysitter, bank receptionist, office assistant, weeded bean fields, shipping and receiving clerk, film printer, photographer, manager, dude ranch worker, casino worker, convenient store worker at Woody's, packaged foods worker, sub/pizza shop worker, transcription typer, solid gold dancer( well for one nite) lol..... Since this post I've also worked as a Controller, Office Manager, grocery store clerk, office temp,& Asst. General Manger of a Hotel. I haven't been able to work at all this past year due to chronic pain and some other things. One of these days maybe the doctor's will figure out what is going on and fix me!

Not Just For Xmas Anymore

Subject	Not Just For Xmas Anymore!
DateCreated	2/20/2006 4:04:00 PM
PostedDate	2/20/2006 3:41:00 PM
Body	As I was cleaning house today I noticed some of my Christmas lights were still up. So now comes the deciding factor, take them down or leave them up? I mean, I could just be getting a really early start on the next Xmas decorating season! Right? The lights are Red so I figured they went with Valentines Day. The next holiday is St. Patrick's Day...that could be a little tricky trying to have Red lights up on a Green Day! So to get around that I am just going anti Irish that day. Besides then I can avoid all those you got any Irish in you jokes. lol Aww then comes Easter, well heck throw a couple eggs up on the lights and call that good! Memorial Day was kinda bloody and Red really goes with that. Fourth of July? Yep Red works there too! Throw in a blue and white thing or two and I am all set! Lets see, Labor Day! Ok well if you labor really hard your face turns Red so that works too! This is awesome! Halloween ? Ok your thinking Orange right? Well a pumpkin with Red light eyes is really scary! Also it takes Red to make orange so technically that really does work. I could just get some yellow cellophane and hang it up over the Red lights then hey...Orange lights! Almost home free now! Thanksgiving right around the corner...hmmmm Ok got it, the turkeys gobbler thingy is Red!Stick up some turkeys and put them by the lights so it looks like their gobbler things are all glowing. Then here it is Christmas! No untangling the lights! They are in place ready to go! Now you may be asking, what about all the days there is no holiday? Well everyday you wake up alive is a holiday so just celebrate that! P.S. Dont put Red lights on your porch...lol

Dilemma of Delete

Subject	Dilemma of Delete
DateCreated	2/15/2006 8:46:00 PM
PostedDate	2/15/2006 8:29:00 PM
Body	I think the delete your friends button should make you go through a bunch of screens first...After all your probably doing it because of a momentary pissed off moment... Like screw them...DELETE! Maybe delete a friend should go to a screen that says, "Are you sure you wanna delete this friend?" Damn Straight! DELETE! Then it goes to a screen that says, " Now think about this! After all they were your friend, were they not?....   Hell no...DELETE! Next screen says, " Are you Mad at this friend?" Do you wanna have a cup a coffee and come back later to delete this person?   Yes still mad, don't want no damn coffee I said DELETE! Next screen says, "Why exactly are you mad at this friend and can it be fixed before you really really delete"....   Ok about now your wanting to delete the delete button...but your starting to think...ok maybe I was too fast to get mad...   No wait I am still pissed...DELETE...   Ok your friend has now been deleted....Would you like to UnDelete this friend?......   Oh Gawd yes! UNDELETE   Page says, there is no UNDELETE, I gave you plenty of chances, now go back to your friend  beg, crawl on your knees and kiss their feet! Next time take time to decide before you hit DELETE...lol Sucka!

Sex Ed Circa 1969

Subject	Sex Ed ..Circa 1969
DateCreated	2/11/2006 9:27:00 AM
PostedDate	2/11/2006 9:20:00 AM
Body	It was a bright spring day March 1969. I remember it was really bright as they closed the drapes in the library and assembled all the 6th through 8th grade girls together. We stood in the library giggling as Sister Antoinette said, "Today we are going to be having a talk on Sex Education"....OMG!...the Sister said, "SEX" Teehee, giggle giggle..... We already knew what Sex was, heck we seen dogs do it, cows do it, we seen the dirty pictures Laurie found in her dads garage...but at that age the thought of people doing "IT" or us doing " IT" wasnt exactly at the top of our list. Ewww! why would anyone want to do that? The main thing we were concerned about was how to stop the boys from pushing us down. The little pervs wanted to see our underwear! Anyway the talk goes on in a rather monotone boring way....zzzzzzz then here it came, This is what gets you pregnant! Yes the truth now comes, " Wearing Mini Skirts" Yep that is what does it! Shocked look on all our innocent little faces...(Damn thats all they sell these days, Hey its 1969! I bet all those girls in Public school are now knocked up!) We all look around at each other and laugh hysterically! Shit now we get sentenced to crap loads of saying "Hail Mary's" *rolls eyes* After the Mini skirt testimony, that can only be delivered by a nun in full nun attire can give, we were lined up in the hall and forced to our knees for the Measurment phase! Its only a mini skirt if its more than 2 inches above your knee...Out comes the ruler....Oh NO! Mine was 18 inches up....like they couldnt tell it was too short to begin with? lol (sent home after Sex Ed class) Oh gawd am I pregnant? I wore a mini skirt! Directly after the Mini skirt episode, we were also informed, "Do not stand by a white table cloth around Men!" (BLINK! GASP! WTF????) Thats right, it reminds Men of bed sheets and they will think you want sex, if you stand by a white table cloth......OMG where is the nearest White Sale?? I need a white table cloth! This is the truth as I remember it....I must have blacked out the rest! lol

Pot of Gold

Subject	Pot Of Gold
DateCreated	2/12/2006 11:31:00 AM
PostedDate	2/12/2006 11:08:00 AM
Body	Pot Of Gold by: JdyJdyJdy The proverbal Pot of Gold,  Where is it exactly? At the end of the Rainbow? Many have searched there, but the Rainbow has no end, its round and continuous.  What Is it hope, dreams, wishes? The Rainbow appears in wonderous color, during the quiet of the day, showing you that you have made it through yet another storm. Reminding you to be thankful for what you have. Telling you not to look so hard you can't see what is already there. A symbol, representing that beautiful things can come from even the worse of situations. Po Keep hope, dreams and wishes close to your heart, its been there all along.... for The Rainbow is the Pot of Gold.

Sun and Moon

Subject	Sun and Moon
DateCreated	2/4/2006 11:57:00 AM
PostedDate	2/4/2006 11:48:00 AM
Body	by JdyJdyJdy   I dont know who said "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" or is it the other way around?   Anyway I think Women are more like the Moon and Men are like the Sun. Why you say? Well the Moon has cycles and so do women. The Sun is a hot ball of fire just like men. I think the Sun and the Moon have a dancing romance of beauty and color. The Sun is always chasing the Moon. He gets behind her and makes her shine. The Moon doesnt always show her full self, but when she does she is marvelous. The Sun always sees the full Moon,  but respects her right not to show the whole world just how awesome she is. The Sun can be covered by clouds of dispair at times, but he is still shining brightly underneath it all. Somes days the Moon joins the Sun in the morning to peek at him in all his glory, as he rises up above the horizon and makes all the colors of the world spread out into the sky. Together the Sun and Moon make special days, like the eclipse. All the stars shine at night showing the love the Moon and Sun really have for one another. They adore each other for all to see. Seldom does the Moon seek to cover the Sun. For she is confident that he is there only for her. For the Sun must shine, that is his reason for being and it gives her life to know that.   Besides that, Whats that old saying? The Man "In" the Moon! Get it? Man in Woman! All along the secrets to successful relationships have been in the sky. Each be yourself, see each other for who you are and when its time to come together, shine brightly as the full moon on a clear night.....I think thats why coyotes howl at the Moon. :) They know whats going on...

Should Have Stayed in Bed!

Subject	Shoulda Stayed In Bed(repost)
DateCreated	2/3/2006 2:25:00 PM
PostedDate	8/19/2006 1:46:00 PM
Body	You know you should have just stayed in bed when you wake up kinda foggy. Then you look over at your alarm clock and the the numbers are blinking. Your hand reaches for the top of your head and you whack yourself thinking, SHIT! I am gonna be late for work. You stubble and hit your head on the wall and get knocked back into bed. Hmmm maybe you should just stay there?? Oh no, gotta get to work! You put on your last clean pair of socks, just to step in....oh christ, forgot to let dogs out. Okay maybe at this point coffee will help. You go to the coffee pot to find out you never shut it off yesterday. There you stand staring at 2 inches of muddy slug and a crystaline pot that you swear looks like a picture of Elvis. For a few minutes you stand, stare and wonder just how much that would go for on Ebay. Ok coffee is out, so you reach into the cubbard for some whiskey, then remember you havent drank in years, so no since lookin in the frig for a beer either. Oh shoot better phone into work, let them know your running late. Grab the phone and somehow the cord is not dangling from the wall, the cat must have got it. Off to find the cordless, awww there it is under the couch cushion. Pick it up to find out it only has enough battery power to tell you its out of battery power. Back it goes to the couch, in not so friendly a manner. You stomp off to see if you can find some kinda clean socks, then remember you gotta let the dogs out. You open the door, dogs run past you, door shuts...now your locked out of your house in your underwear and your dogs are loose. Break out the window, to get back in the house, because you forgot the other door was actually unlocked. That you discovered after remembering your dogs were still loose. Hmmm better get dressed, screw the socks.You go back to your room sit on the bed and contemplate whether or not to continue this day. All of sudden you hear music, your arm reaches out to hit snooze. Thank God it was all a dream! Or was it? Somedays your just better off staying in bed! Well my day wasnt quite that bad. My dog just jumped through my bedroom window, killed the neighbors cat and I screwed up a shit load of hats at work. I knew when I was at work I would have been better off staying home! Window is fixed now! I am so talented...lol Unfortunetly the cat is still dead. Now what do I do? I think I will just leave it and maybe somehow it will magically disappear...lol ( you know the coyotes might come get it for supper) Its not like it was a family cat or anything. It was a ferral cat, the neighbor feeds like 26 of them, well 25 now. Yikes that sucks. I was thinking of slipping it into the dumpster, but what if the neighbor comes out when I am doing that? Oh what a dilema. Its just been one of those days I shoulda just stayed in bed! P.S. I had to wait till dark to remove the evidence ;)