Stuff That Goes Through My Mind

Subject	this is the kind of stuff that just runs through my mind non stop most days!
DateCreated	10/21/2006 1:14:00 PM
PostedDate	10/21/2006 1:10:00 PM
Body	Do you want to walk through my mind just a bit?? Well stuff like this just comes to me all the time! Sometimes I write it down, sometimes I let it pass....not sure what the hell it all means but.......I guess its just Me!    Take me to another day where the sun is a little brighter Let me feel the warmth of your touch as we sit beside the fire  live on in a dream state as if there were no tomorrow When I haven't seen your face in days my eyes they show the sorrow Take me past the stage of doubt love me now while passions burning may the wind of love never blow out for ecstasy is all about now now and forever till there comes a day let me in take me away lay me down when night has fallen touch my heart with soft words spoken in my eyes you'll see that glow its the place that lovers go forever and a day don't look back only stay smile upon the life you're given rise above the things forbidden make it happen its in your power don't let the sun set on your anger fly above the world so high let me touch you make you smile laugh at all the things you've done never miss a setting sun take me to another day take me now before I get away for patience isn't all that strong live today and seize the passion make me want you without abandon before I close my eyes to sleep whisper something very sweet hold my hand and touch my heart sometimes lovers never part

Dr. RU Blind

Subject	Dr. RU Blind
DateCreated	3/27/2009 6:48:00 AM
PostedDate	3/27/2009 6:48:00 AM
Body	http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-mlZtVIlcg8 A skit we did in 1988, a spoof about going to the eye doctor.

Weight Loss Two Day Man ( A spoof)

Subject	Weight Loss Two Day Man
DateCreated	3/27/2009 6:45:00 AM
PostedDate	3/27/2009 6:45:00 AM
Body	http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wR1cWGoDI3M Funny spoof on weight loss claim ads

The "Cat Toy"

Subject	The "Cat Toy"
DateCreated	5/15/2007 7:59:00 PM
PostedDate	5/15/2007 7:26:00 PM
Body	The "Cat Toy" Well the first time Jon found it he was 4, he said " Hey Whats This??" The quick thinker I am I said, " Oh that? ummm ya that is a cat toy!" Jon said, " Well that's kind of big for a cat isn't? How does it work? What does the cat do with that?" Quick thinker Me says, " uhh the cat rolls it around on floor." Standing there with said "Cat Toy" in hand I put it away and changed the subject! So I figured that was the end of that. I'll be more careful where I put the "Cat Toy" from now on. Three years later: We had just moved into a new place and decided to go through the picture box. We were sitting on my bed and got out some pictures of Jon as a baby. Just then Jon finds it! Yes the "Cat Toy" Again he says hey whats this? Once again being the quick thinker I am I say, "Ummm ya that's a "Cat Toy"! Jon said, " Well we don't even have a cat." Oops slight mistake there! The first time 3 years earlier we actually had a cat! So I 'm sitting there, not thinking so quickly now as I watch my 7 yr old examine what he believes to be a "Cat Toy" Here comes the questions, " What does this do? How does a cat play with this? Isn't this to big for a cats mouth? I want to see how this thing works. Why would a cat roll this around on the ground? Maybe since we don't have a cat the dogs would like this?........ROFL Maybe Granny's cat would want it.   Ok now I'm thinking great! Can't you just picture it, You are sitting around the kitchen table and out comes your kid with the "Cat Toy", Hey Granny do you think your cat would like this??   Finally I said, "Let me have that I'll put it up." Jon said, "Why do you have to hide that? "Umm lets just look at pictures OK??" Ok but I still want to know how that thing works! Can you just imagine a few years down the road and Jon is dating and he finds his g/f "Cat Toy"? Hey my Mom has a "Cat Toy" just like this. I didn't know you had a cat! Well a few months later we actually got a cat! Hey Mom where is that "Cat Toy"? I want to see the cat play with that thing! Diversion time! I think we should just go to K-Mart and see what's on sale!! So the moral of the story is " Keep your " Cat Toys" well hidden!!

Funny Things My Kid Says

Subject	Funny Things My Kid Says!
DateCreated	7/8/2006 3:38:00 PM
PostedDate	7/8/2006 2:43:00 PM
Body	Funny Things My Kid Says!   by JdyJdyJdy   One day we were driving and we seen a flock of turkeys. I said, "wow those are some big turkeys!" He said, "Are they Butterball?" I was having a really bad day and said, " I should just jump in the lake!" He said, " What goods that gonna do? You can Swim!" Same bad day, he came up and said, " Your eyes are Sweating all over your face!" I put my swim suit on to get some sun, he said, " Well those exercises aren't working too good. You look good except for the bottom of your stomach, the top of your legs and the top of your arms !   but the  bottom of your legs, the top of you and the bottom of your arms is okay!" Mom would you tell that Dog she is not my MOM!! She keeps looking at me like she is! He said, " Could you give me some privacy? I am trying to talk to myself!" He said, " I cant walk that far" I said, "Why not" He said, "Cause I have a rock in my pocket." He said, " Well you should really try to quit smoking! You could use the candy kind like I do, only problem is they dont have your brand, I checked." Jon asks, " Do parrots talk?" I say,"some do, yes" Jon says, " Well you tell a parrot something and he just says it back to you. I think they should just call them REPEATS instead of parrots!" I am sure there are more and once he says them or I think of them I'll add them to this list!! Kids ! They do say the darndest things!! Is darndest a word?? lol

Ya Right "ONE"

Subject	Ya Right "ONE"
DateCreated	6/27/2006 3:20:00 PM
PostedDate	6/27/2006 2:17:00 PM
Body	Ya Right "ONE" by JdyJdyJdy   Okay so first I ask the age old question, " Why is there only "ONE" shoe on the side of road?" Or in this picture On the roof of a car? Then I have to ask why did I take this picture 30 yrs ago?? Was it some cosmic force that knew someday I would need to use this picture in a blog on MySpace?? Well its my theory that this same mysterious cosmic force is probably somehow connected to those missing socks! Yes those socks need a shoe right? So somewhere in the universe is lots and lots of "ONE" shoe and "ONE" sock communities. Maybe aliens only have one foot! ya that's another theory. Now on with the "ONE" thing...Ok whos genius idea was it to put "ONE" serving on stuff?? Like on the bag of these chips.... Serving size is "ONE" ounce then they calculate the calories and other BS on that...Now for all the mathmatically challenged what they really mean is this:( you have to multiply 140 by 4)! Thats right cause you know damn well you are eating this whole bag! lol That is a grand total of  560 calories. (yes I had to get out the computer calculator for that) The reason they put "about" 4 servings is because they secretly know you're gonna eat the whole bag so it doesnt really matter. Don't even get me started on the "ONE -Pull-Start" mowers...FOLKS! This is a trick! First off they did not have room on the mowers to put the word HUNDRED after ONE! Thats right! After they figured out it took more than "ONE" pull it was too late to redo the kabillion and ONE manuals, so the super executive said, " Let the stupid MF's figure it out themselves! After they get to pull number 99 its such a relief to only have "ONE" more to go! " Oh and "One" last thing....Wasn't this just a bunch of crap or what? lol

So Good It Will Make You Cry!

Subject	"So Good It Will Make You Cry"
DateCreated	3/17/2006 7:36:00 PM
PostedDate	3/17/2006 7:15:00 PM
Body	I went to lunch the other day at a local fast food restaurant. The name of  the place is Runza's. They are famous for their stuffed sandwiches. I tried one once...I think they would be better off being famous for their onion rings w/ ranch dip...yummy! Anyway as I approached the door I noticed a big sign advertising a new sandwich. It said, "SO GOOD IT WILL MAKE YOU CRY" So now I am thinking to myself, great I am gonna go in here and there are going to be people crying their eyes out yelling, OH MY GAWD! THIS SANDWICH IS SO GOOD! WAAAA! WAAAA! What a disappointment. I don't think anyone ordered that sandwich. I know I didn't. After all I really didn't feel like crying. I ordered my onion rings, sat down and stared at yet another sign saying the same thing, "SO GOOD IT WILL MAKE YOU CRY". I must have really been concentrating on  that sign. Some guy walked up to me and said I wish I knew what was so interesting... I thought to myself , order one of them sandwiches then you'll know! You see I figure that is the kind of sandwich people take home. Not many people want to sit and cry in a restaurant after all. So now I am picturing people going through the drive through and ordering the cry sandwich. They can't wait to get home cause they're hungry, so they chance it and eat some while driving...Oh NO...crying and driving can't be safe, I think that sandwich should come with a warning like, "DON'T EAT THIS WHILE DRIVING, DUE TO THE FACT THAT CRYING WHILE DRIVING IMPAIRS VISION!" Then I am thinking who the hell came up with that slogan? Why would anyone want to eat something that made them cry? Are there Habanero peppers secretly installed inside this sandwich? I would rather eat something that made me say YUMMY! So I would change that ad to "SO GOOD YOU'LL SAY YUMMY!" Of course they didn't ask ME! So now if I get really bored someday I may just order that sandwich. I will wait till the place is packed. Sit down, start eating the sandwich...start crying my eyes out and Yelling...OH MY GAWD! THIS IS SO GOOD! I CAN'T STOP CRYING! Of course I may have to pluck a nose hair out to actually start crying for real. I still can't believe it, a sandwich "SO GOOD IT WILL MAKE YOU CRY!" That damn sandwich best be better than sex then! lol